October 30, 2009
Posted: 129 GMT

REYKJAVIK, Iceland - All reporters will tell you from time to time that they do their work out of love of the story, a need to tell the world. This, I’m sorry to say, is not one of those times.

There are some CNN assignments which are performed not from either of those noble motivations but simply from duty, or happening to be in the right place at the right time, which really means you are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I feel like a voyeur at a funeral. A vile rubber-necker craning to get a fleeting glimpse of the carnage as I pass a road crash, disguising my macabre interest as a considerate deceleration to preserve the safety of the attendant emergency service personnel.

I have come to Iceland to report for The Screening Room on the country’s cinematic prowess.  I shall likely leave it as a leper, cast out by my hosts for invading their time of grief.

“How do you feel?” I ask, cursing myself at uttering the question which has become known as the ultimate journalistic cliché. “How do you feel…about the situation?”

I cannot bear even to mention the name of my subject, but I don’t need to. The first few targets of my intended interview rush past, evading the red and white CNN mike box. Apparently nerves remain raw and emotions are running high.

In less than 48 hours from my filing of this report, Iceland, a country of a mere 300 thousand souls – is destined to become a more soulless place as its three branches of the mighty McDonald's forest are lopped off by the tree surgeon of global finance.

The closure of McDonald's most northern empire sends ripples of fear across the world, reaching even as far as Hobart, whose 300 thousand citizens must wonder whether a similar fate may befall the jewel of Tasmania’s cultural diversity – the world’s most southerly branch of Starbucks.

But such global questions must rest unanswered for now as my brief confines me to this sad volcanic rock in the north Atlantic whose very  geology appears to rise up in surly resentment against this fast food fatality. It hisses steam and spits lava from every nook and fissure. It’s as if the Devil himself is sending a dark warning directly from Hell about the folly of the financial freeze. Forming an unholy alliance, the heavens open and pour liquid gloom upon my presence in this beautifully barren wasteland.

Upon arrival at Reykjavik’s international airport the departure board displays a sign of things to come - the last flights of the day are to Boston and New York, destined no doubt to be packed with deserters as an exodus begins in search of the burger so cruelly denied to the indigenous populace. For those in search of such culinary comfort closer to home, a flight to the Irish capital Dublin will provide the nearest McDonalds outlet - a mere 2,000 kilometers from the runways of Reykjavik.

Iceland’s tiny population provides an obstinate challenge to national supremacy on an international stage. Even in the competition for the world’s most expensive Big Mac it could muster only a bronze medal position, deprived of gold by its Nordic neighbors Norway and Sweden.

When its chance finally arrived, with the Icelandic currency plummeting in the wake of the global financial crisis, the imported ingredients of a Quarter Pounder soared to sensational heights. But just as it seemed destined to become the priciest patty on earth, the Happy Meal was forced to make way for misery as the franchise-holders, brothers Gon and Magnus Ogmundsson, told an unsuspecting world that he would tear down the golden arches and rip the relish from the hearts of hamburger-lovers.

Of course I’m using journalese here. What they actually said was that Iceland’s unique economic circumstances made it impossible to continue and that McDonalds had actually been very sympathetic and supportive during tough times for the business.

Nonetheless Iceland’s polar population, as with many populaces around the world, was polarized by the arrival of McDonald's. The burger brand seems to split communities into fundamentalists who regard it as either a sign of civilization or the evil ambassador of American imperialism.

The Ogmundsson’s plan to replace McDonald's with locally sourced food creates an opportunity to tap into the island’s own culinary heritage.

Iceland’s natural resources – steam and rock – and its lack of other resources – mayonnaise, hamburger relish, sesame buns, onion rings – have shaped its cuisine. But locally sourced food here actually means cheaper food. However, far from pickled herring, moss, minke whale, stewed seaweed or any of the abundant fresh seafood waiting to be steamed in the island’s volcanic oven, the Ogmundssons plan to replace McDonald's with an Icelandic burger bar.

I finally manage to lure a vox pop out of a local. She didn’t want to give her name for obvious reasons. She was about 18, with dyed black spiky hair, 13 earrings and a pierced tongue to complement her abundant tattoos. I tried to add concern and sincerity to my question.

“How do you feel?”

Her reply didn’t surprise me.

“I don’t really care. Never touched the stuff. Good riddance as far as I’m concerned.”

Clearly the young woman was in denial, fortified by the false bravado of youth.

A middle-aged couple, probably out to console themselves by revisiting favorite Icelandic landmarks, mustered what they supposed to be a cheery wave.

The woman brushed away a tear, mumbling something about the bitter wind, but I was not taken in.

“McDonald's.” I said. “I’m so sorry to ask, but how are you coping?”

“Never been in there in my life,” the man lied. "Glad to see the back of it.”

He was a convincing actor who, rare among those who have savored the irresistible blend of egg, sausage and muffin in the gloriously named “Sausage and Egg McMuffin,” could deliver such a damning verdict with a straight face. De Niro would meet his peer in this remarkable Reykjavikian.

Indeed the evidence pointed to the contrary as people headed in droves to the drive-in, queued around the block, with lines of teenagers bursting out of the door, desperate to get their final fix of this forbidden food.

As I stood in the street and watched the light turned off in McDonald's Icelandic flagship store for the para-penultimate time I heard a clock strike midnight.

I knew it was time for me to leave this day of the damned. A wake for the passing of the patty. A wake-javic in Reykjavik.

With a heavy heart and heavy stomach, my greasy finger pressed “return” on my laptop and my report was done. In years to come people may rejoice in the majesty of the northern lights, the music of Bjork or Sigur Ros and the luxury of the Blue Lagoon. But from this time on they will never share the communal joy of a happy meal with a Shrek 4 mobile phone toy or substituting extra fries with a fruit bag just to annoy the kids. Think on this you global bankers as you contemplate your multi-million dollar bonuses. Think on what you have done to the people of Iceland.

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Filed under: Food • Iceland


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Jeremy Friesenhahn   November 1st, 2009 246 GMT

Brilliantly written; great satire.

Mimi DiFrancesca   November 1st, 2009 327 GMT

Dude, I feel your pain.

Steve Crichton   November 1st, 2009 359 GMT

Very well written article. ......This will undoubtedly see Iceland return to the Dark Ages.

Rev. Ray   November 1st, 2009 2140 GMT

What a blessing. God works in mysterious ways. From the demise of McDonalds rises a nation with better health.

Namaste

Rev

anglosaxon   November 1st, 2009 2232 GMT

the best thing thats happened for years ,

Alex Battaglia   November 2nd, 2009 000 GMT

That was a glorious article. The satire was dead on. Plus Steve's comment above made me almost choke (so funny).

Eric Roberts   November 2nd, 2009 111 GMT

On the bright side, think of how much healthier they will be ;-)

Howard Ross   November 2nd, 2009 319 GMT

Sounds like a place for Tim Hortons,,,,

MArk Cupitt   November 2nd, 2009 334 GMT

Excellent, well done.

Warren   November 2nd, 2009 439 GMT

That's it. I'm definitely moving to Iceland.

sam   November 2nd, 2009 441 GMT

They should count themselves thankful that that garbage food won't pollute anymore Icelanders' bodies. Good riddance and more countries should do the same. Look at all the tubs of lard in America. Obesity in America is a very serious problem. Oink, oink!

Steve   November 2nd, 2009 534 GMT

well done, I think they'll get by just fine with out rotten ronnie's heart killing food.

MM   November 2nd, 2009 628 GMT

Very well written, a gem ;p

David H.   November 2nd, 2009 829 GMT

This is one of those articles that has the reader begging for more. Written with love and hate. A Jerry McGuire mission statement, if I may call it that. However the facts remain that Icelandic banks' hold partial blame for Iceland's current economic misfortune. As Jerry Seinfeld once said, "look to the cookie," but that cookie made him sick. Iceland ate the foreign debt, but unlike Mr. Seinfeld, their economy does not feel better after throwing up. Not a perfect analogy, however what is the difference, the global economy is sick, with no antigens for protection; the real H1N1. Now we need the future Greenspan's, and Buffet's, to step up and figure out the solution, so future Reykjavik residents can taste the salty, greasy, artery blocking Big Mac once again.

victor   November 2nd, 2009 902 GMT

It was inevitable, all in all, the Icelanders were anti-American generally, even though the Americans handed Iceland millions of dollars for bases,etc and also gave Icelanders work, etc. The tension was increasing each year. As far as I'm concerned, it's a happy mutual parting. Go Russian Iceland, and I find they already have, hope you'll love them!!

Zen   November 2nd, 2009 945 GMT

I really loved the article. As well as his humour. Poor Icelanders.

sean quillin   November 2nd, 2009 1413 GMT

It was the eighth paragraph of gobbledy goop before you let us know what in the heck you were trying to say. I would give you an "F" for a grade. Do you feel clever for have spoken meaningless gobbledy goop to get to the eight paragraph? Wow! Talk about trash talk.

edgar   November 2nd, 2009 1430 GMT

I'm sure that their health will improve. Thank goodness globalization is finally coming to an end. An end to capitalism is the solution. ¡Viva Chávez!

Peter Jennings   November 2nd, 2009 1656 GMT

This article is so true to life comedic that I thought I was reading "The Onion" for a second. Truth can be as funny as fiction I guess. But without McDonalds, where are the Icelandic Power Lifters going to find the strength to squat 11 kegs of Beer?

Þorsteinn Halldórsson   November 2nd, 2009 1811 GMT

Article was a bit silly, but I am sure it was ment to be as well. However, I will not miss the golden archesandam quite glad that processed crap is gone and we can actually have Icelandic beef and potatoes instead.
McDonalds – Good ridence and I hope this starts a grassroots movement to better food.

Maurizio   November 2nd, 2009 1811 GMT

Excellent article...more like this needed on CNN. Kudos sir!

Red45   November 2nd, 2009 1854 GMT

What?

C Nugget   November 2nd, 2009 2041 GMT

A sobering reflection on a very serious subject.

But one cannot feel a certain bias which has stemmed from this authors pen. Pehaps he was predigioused from birth as his surname implies.

Patrick   November 2nd, 2009 2046 GMT

I think Venezuela has the most costly burger. Use your credit card for a Big Mac special and you will be billed more than $12 for a Big Mac, fries and a 300 ml drink.

Matt Foley   November 2nd, 2009 2051 GMT

Chin up. Get a room at the hotel Borg and catch the band at the Deko bar. Then, marvel at the fact a country with such a small population is blessed with so many smoking hot women that have a low tolerance for alcohol.

Milo Kos   November 2nd, 2009 2120 GMT

"...its three branches of the mighty McDonald's forest are lopped off by the tree surgeon of global finance." I stopped reading at this point.. very poor creative writing... the tree surgeon!??!? really?!!? you couldn't think of anything else?

Alex   November 2nd, 2009 2121 GMT

Another culture saved from the great obesity epidemic. . .

blacknwhite   November 2nd, 2009 2215 GMT

The writing was good, satirical, but a bit confusing at times.

Sam   November 2nd, 2009 2308 GMT

I think I want to move to Iceland.

Brian   November 2nd, 2009 2358 GMT

Fantastic article. I hope one day; I, too, will tear up when McDonalds across the valley I live in close. Oh, what a dream. Go capitalism.

Anders   November 3rd, 2009 021 GMT

I want your job.

Yaelle   November 3rd, 2009 117 GMT

Oaw I totally subscribe to what you write. Alarming and yet so many things are that you don't know what is worse....!

Sunny   November 3rd, 2009 144 GMT

...Wow.

Ya know, I have never cared one whit about Mickey D's. Never liked the food.

But I bloody near bawled. Amazingly done, my good sir. Hats off.

Michael Grant   November 3rd, 2009 223 GMT

"A wake-javic in Reykjavik."... - that one brought a tear to my eye....

russie   November 3rd, 2009 249 GMT

Terrible
First Iceland, then the WORLD
existence without Mickey D's, McDonalds's
life goes on ... Better ... !

Yip   November 3rd, 2009 357 GMT

Wish Mcdonalds would close in Australia, most disgusting rubbish burgers ever made. Its no loss Iceland!

Paul   November 3rd, 2009 513 GMT

This is horribly written.

Andrea Myslicki   November 3rd, 2009 1145 GMT

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha

bill harris   November 3rd, 2009 1146 GMT

An example of pulling "McDonalds Departs Iceland" from your puns and stuffing it with BS.

When you get past the "ever-so-quaint"-ery ..."Where's the Beef?"

Johann Helgi   November 3rd, 2009 1220 GMT

Good piece on an very unworthy subject.

I´m from Reykjavik and i can tell you that no one over 10 years old will miss mcdonalds. I think there are two reasons that this frenchise actually survived in Reykjavik , first it was novelty then Easy acces with a car and the toys in the kidsmeal period.
I seriously doubt that anyone anytime would go to mcDonalds because he or she who was so hungry because anyone knows specially in Iceland that the nutrion in the big mac ins´t worth a penny.
McDonalds leaving iceland is a landmark in the future of iceland as we are not blinded by the light of free market anymore and want substance rather then the idea of it.

Lawrence feldman   November 3rd, 2009 1226 GMT

Well what we have here is the reversal of good old American fortune in Reykjavik. It's not only the downfall of US fortune but also of Iceland's support of polarity with world markets.

Mcdonalds fan 247   November 3rd, 2009 1320 GMT

I love mcdonalds but I also love my forests. I just want all of you to remember thats tree give us oxygen, which help us breath. This is just my personal comment so don't take it to heart. Keep doing what you have planned but please for me and my classmates don't cut down every tree. Thank You, Mcdonalds fan 247
10 years old.

sybille in danmark   November 3rd, 2009 1351 GMT

as a food loving vegetarian i rarely frequent macdonalds, cause they dont really offer much that could tempt me.
the sugarfree lemonade is cheaper elsewhere and macdonalds rival burgerking has at least one vegetarian burgermeal on their menu.
BUT:
if i were icelandic i´d sure miss the best chocolate muffins in the country as scandinavians usually have NO idea whatsoever on how to make these delicious calory-bombs!
so, if they ever cut off the danish branches of mac D : i wouldn´t
ruin my makeup with tears – i ´d just have to get out my muffin recipe...

Christopher Cude   November 3rd, 2009 1459 GMT

The most refreshing news I've read in a long while. Thank You!

Steven   November 3rd, 2009 1507 GMT

Good, it seems that Iceland is the only smart country in this planet.

Krisztian   November 3rd, 2009 1543 GMT

Astoundingly well written. Cheers, sir.

Carole Lin   November 3rd, 2009 1600 GMT

Among all damages caused by the greed of some, THIS... may be the only 'blessing in disguise' in the long run for the people of beautiful Iceland.

Mikey Baxter   November 3rd, 2009 1618 GMT

Iceland has fallen a long, long way. How can any country survive without the golden arches. The healthy, nutritious food and the benevolent business practices that just can't be replaced. R.I.P. Rotten Ronnie.

Edgar   November 3rd, 2009 1622 GMT

Almost unbearable, the thought of this plaque which a struck Iceland. Is there now no hope of westernized fast food availability for the People Of Iceland? What of the Burger King, does he maintain a bastion in this northern outpost of civilization? Does the Brave Colonel Saunders keep an elite KFC squadron in these far reaches of humanity? Is there a single Pizza Hut left where Icelanders can seek high caloric refugee? These are dark times indeed in the land of Midnight Sun, with no glimmer of dawn or scent of deep fried meat on the horizon yet!

B Preston   November 3rd, 2009 1713 GMT

And now... everyone in Iceland will be Healthy and the thinnest people on Earth!

Anderson Fortaleza   November 3rd, 2009 1741 GMT

300k people ? This is a neighborhood in my city, if they second guess their country comes to an end in one generation !

Peter Absom   November 3rd, 2009 2007 GMT

Almost made me fell sorry for McDonald's....almost. Great writing!

Zachary   November 3rd, 2009 2027 GMT

This has got to be the best article I have ever read on CNN. (And I mean that as a compliment not an insult)

K   November 3rd, 2009 2050 GMT

Sad part is people lost their jobs and the country got clobbered...yet you got paid for this drivel.

Donald   November 3rd, 2009 2058 GMT

Satire maybe, but a complete waste of time.

Matt Hill   November 3rd, 2009 2112 GMT

A well written eulogy for the kingdom of cholesterol.

David   November 3rd, 2009 2114 GMT

Tree surgeon??? How about lumberjack. No wonder cnn is ranked last.

Christian   November 3rd, 2009 2130 GMT

I really enjoyed this. Literally lol'd.

sal   November 3rd, 2009 2147 GMT

reread it twice to make sure we were talking about the same thing. but dont let the aforementioned sentence fool you. i have no comment.

Polis   November 3rd, 2009 2212 GMT

Oh what a hideous blow to the people of Iceland. Their culture will surely be looked down upon by the other Nordic nations.

What will fill this great grease coated void?

Perhaps something more exotic and spicey.... perhaps a run for the border is necessary to revitalize the culture of Iceland. Icelanders know of a bun... but a tortilla will surely blow their mind. Plus the food will help warm their country, save on energy.

malo aa   November 3rd, 2009 2301 GMT

Crichton....dark ages? You mean McD had brought enlightenment and civilization to Iceland? McD shutting its lights just saved the Icelandics a barrage of chronic diseases and related heath care costs. No pity here.

L. Piggott   November 3rd, 2009 2317 GMT

Fantastic article, a pleasure to read. Now, if Iceland had to halt production of brennevin (aquavit), the attitude would surely change and I'd love to read that story as well.

Jim Fuchnough   November 3rd, 2009 2335 GMT

The people of iceland should rejoice that a greedy capitalistic company like McDonalds have left there beautiful country. Whereever McDonalds goes, trash and wrappers on the side of the road and overweight and unhealthy people follow. Obviously this has economic considerations but maybe we should stimulate the economy in other ways besides really unhealthy and environmentally irresponsible food......? Was the author of this article serious? So sad to report this horrible thing? Give me a break. I have high respect for the people of Iceland and I think they can do better than and are better of without McDonald's, I am really sorry that some of the biggest "exports" from the US are products that are not good for you and have negative environmental impact.... and that others around the world have become hooked on them, Jim from the USA

Jim Fuchnough   November 3rd, 2009 2345 GMT

ps. Well hopefully they can still get Coke and Camel cigarettes.....:) Yeah if there are any silver linings to the economic mess here's one! I wish they would pull out of our own country too (US:)

Bjartur of Summerhouses   November 4th, 2009 200 GMT

ah ... at last, a silver lining is seen from clouds of the "crisis"

quoting H. Laxness:

There was, however, another war,
Waged near a rock in the blind days of yore,
And that was fought over one sweet flower
That was torn away in disastrous hour.

And that’s why I’m lately so moody grown
And Pride myself little on what I own.
For what are riches and houses and power
If in that house blooms no lovely flower?

...

The love of freedom and independence has always been a characteristic of the Icelandic people. Iceland was originally colonized by free-born chieftains who would rather live and die in isolation than serve a foreign king.

George Lancaster   November 4th, 2009 212 GMT

Well, you can always find succor in Japan, a monument to Golden Arches success, and, like in Iceland, you can enjoy a hot outdoor bath while you're there. By the way, the iconic Icelandic band is spelled Sigur Ros.

ekraem   November 4th, 2009 219 GMT

"A wake-javic in Reykjavik." ... that's a keeper.

Bill T.   November 4th, 2009 246 GMT

Hey! I made the pilgrimage to eat a $10.00 (at the time) burger, just to say I did it and get a place mat. But really, the food in any Icelandic grocery store was much more interesting - and cheaper.
RIP, Mac.

dispater   November 4th, 2009 359 GMT

Okay...Little over the top. I lived in Iceland for almost 4 years and the Icelandic burgers, fries, and service are way better than McDonalds. I hope the Icelanders take this as an opportunity to re-embrace their own culture and land as it was glorious. I miss Iceland more than any other place I have lived because it was so perfect, even w/out McDonalds, Dominoes, Hard Rock, and TGIF.

Tara   November 4th, 2009 403 GMT

Great article - I laughed, I cried.

Joe   November 4th, 2009 405 GMT

Glad McDonalds decided to leave. Now we can dump all of our garbage in that **** hole.

Idaho Spud   November 4th, 2009 439 GMT

What an opportunity for Burger King!

Shah   November 4th, 2009 552 GMT

WTF???

Rune   November 4th, 2009 747 GMT

Funniest thing I've ever read on CNN. Thanks for the laughs :)

dedeSU   November 4th, 2009 838 GMT

ah... maybe me sigh and actually crave for a bigmac!!
Great read!!!!!

Kristjan Bjornsson   November 4th, 2009 1002 GMT

Reading your article I feel sorry for your grief and I hope you can differentiate your own feelings from the temporary difficulties in Icelandic currency development causing this import of goods from McDonald to MacDonald to end.
Always welcome to Iceland. I ensure your readers that we have seen much more dramatic situations coming over the nation through the ages.
Yours sincerely, Kristjan

brad   November 4th, 2009 1140 GMT

It's a good start. Mc D's should close more!

Thor   November 4th, 2009 1202 GMT

Metro is the new name and now serves real meat burger and good home grown fries, Bravo
No more McDonalds flem after dinner....change is good.

caring kate   November 4th, 2009 1229 GMT

Think of the alternatives for Iceland. Now that a fast-food corporation is disolved there, they may have no choice but to become healthier eaters! The article was cleverly done.

Pat   November 4th, 2009 1237 GMT

NOW this is a place I could safely raise my children!

Tim Langan   November 4th, 2009 1306 GMT

what waste of space......

jp   November 4th, 2009 1443 GMT

Great article! One of the best I've read in months.
Oh, yeah, almost forgot, my heart's breaking.

Dave D   November 4th, 2009 1447 GMT

Hurrah for the the people of Iceland to reject this garbage food...just goes to show you how smart they are!! Would that it would happen here in America!!

Mauric Savaryego   November 4th, 2009 1454 GMT

I wish McDonald would disappear from Montreal as well! I have never understood how people can eat that stuff!

David from Missouri   November 4th, 2009 1504 GMT

Only if we could get rid of some of them here.

Chris Wood   November 4th, 2009 1556 GMT

I'd like to try a minke whaleburger.

Kyle Interra   November 4th, 2009 1625 GMT

One of the most cleverly written and amusing articles I've read in a while. This is a dark day for the Land to the North indeed.

Heather   November 4th, 2009 1636 GMT

This journalist should be fired. Sarcasm is a disappointing reporting style.

Paul Springwood   November 4th, 2009 1640 GMT

Wow, scarry
Just sold all my Mc Donald,s stock
(watch out this might take a nose dive)

ha, ha excellent written article
enjoyed reading this

Rich Buyer   November 4th, 2009 1826 GMT

Well...strike another vacation destination off my list...

George   November 4th, 2009 1846 GMT

I don't get it. Is McDonalds leaving or going to Iceland? Enough of the "Brilliantly written" crap, just anwser the question.......

Jersey Boy   November 4th, 2009 1847 GMT

Very well written, yes, but cover a story that actually means something. Its great McD's leaves, why cant this trend sweep across more street corners...

I like the writing, but put that writing into a noble cause. The day McD's is the face of Western capitalism, change is in order...oh wait that's already happening....phew'

Ed New York   November 4th, 2009 2010 GMT

Awful writing, overwraught satire and a complete disconnect from not just the culture of Iceland but the subject of McDonald's.

CNN is a shambles!

Stefan   November 4th, 2009 2013 GMT

"...Iceland returning to the Dark Ages" because of the closure of few Mcdonalds branches, common!.
sorry, i dont understand this article at all, it is like there will not be a normal living without a Mcdonalds. btw Burger King left also one year ago. Maybe i will miss Mcdonalds, i did visit them somtimes and i still do when i´m abroad but i´m sure i will continue with my life.
And just for the reporter to know who wrote this peice Subway, KFC, Taco Bell and more brilliant USA kitchens are still in town, so you can relax and enjoy!

FR   November 4th, 2009 2034 GMT

Wow! I think we have the next Pulitzer right here...

jake levine   November 4th, 2009 2051 GMT

brilliantly written story! so happy...just traveled there this summer and to know that one of the more untouched places on this planet is getitng even better by the hasty removal of that crap establishment is music to my ears.

i love the icelanders' responses.

Bryan   November 4th, 2009 2051 GMT

I suppose this is what bored reporters write when they're asked to cover a very boring subject. Stupid article...glad to see the back of it.

Lulu Magnusson   November 4th, 2009 2152 GMT

My people will be deprived of the wonders that are Big Mac and happy meals, and possibly the Puffin McMuffin, it's like being the only kid on the block without a TV.

Well writen article, I had a great laugh.

Ray   November 4th, 2009 2239 GMT

Iceland’s natural resources – steam and rock – and its lack of other resources – mayonnaise, hamburger relish, sesame buns, onion rings – have shaped its cuisine... I didn't wan to laugh but you seem genuinely saddend by this.

Mick   November 4th, 2009 2249 GMT

Maybe life expectancy will go up in Iceland now?

Longwalker   November 4th, 2009 2309 GMT

Brilliant. As one that traveled 120 kilometers by train to be in Seoul when the first Wendy's opened was a moment to compare with assisting in tearing down the Berlin Wall.

Some moments stay in your heart forever.

thingamagig   November 4th, 2009 2318 GMT

Well, unbiased reporting it is NOT. Thanks for the whiney emotional protrail of your OPINION. I am so glad a country finally kicked them out!! Woot! McDonalds promotes bad eating habits, obeasity, diabetes, and garbage in the streets. It also takes away from the local restaurants with local traditional cuisine. Cheer for the downfall of goliath!!

Longwalker   November 4th, 2009 2322 GMT

Have you ever been to the McDonald's on Adak Island tin the Aleutians?

Many fond memories of have of that place stopping there on flight to and from Shemya Island,

SueLagoo   November 5th, 2009 219 GMT

Soooooooo glad this is satire.

Michael Chadwick   November 5th, 2009 425 GMT

Great report!

tom   November 5th, 2009 451 GMT

i feel sorry for the people of iceland mcdonalds shouldnot be so greedy there food aint that great maybe jack in the box can do business in iceland at least they would offer a vaule menu there food is way better

ron eisenhuth   November 5th, 2009 454 GMT

loved it.....whatever they are paying you its not enough....thanks neil

Goran Turner   November 5th, 2009 800 GMT

Love your work (well this article anyway, it's the only your work that I have read) but I am not sure whether many will understand satire when they read it.

sam   November 5th, 2009 810 GMT

why do u let this man work for CNN?

Lucy   November 5th, 2009 956 GMT

Man those lucky people! I want to move there. I'm so over McDonalds crappy food, how they've contributed to the rise of factory farming and offering crap fare that encourages people to gain weight. I haven't been in years. They're only good if you need a free, clean toilet in Europe.

Russell Ghant   November 5th, 2009 1007 GMT

Now this is a great article, displaying as it does (or, rather, revealing) the truth about ‘journalistic objectivity’. Readers, take note! When you look at or hear reports, think of this example and examine how things are expressed, what words are used, what catch phrases couch a situation or personality in such a way that the unsaid becomes even more powerful than the overt message.

Thank you, Mr. Curry.

And as for Iceland and the Dark Ages, it emerges each year in spring, but re-enters every fall.

Mel   November 5th, 2009 1145 GMT

Good writer...stupid topic.

Naveed Hussain   November 5th, 2009 1222 GMT

Well written.. interesting how the golden arches have become an extraordinary symbol of (dare I say) cultural prowess; a barometer of prosperity and indicative of the state of a nation!

Loathe it though you may as a symbol of corporate America, nonetheless McDonalds is always there to fill you up when you need a quick hit...

alicia   November 5th, 2009 1321 GMT

beautifully written

Kenneth Brush   November 5th, 2009 1401 GMT

If only now, we could educate Americans to the point where their restaurants close here. Look at Chris Christie...you can't miss him. Fat like the rest of the population in New Jersey. I think he won because he's fat. Obese. And probably loves his Big Macs.

Tim Stich   November 5th, 2009 1422 GMT

While sort of funny, the piece really does no service to the actual value of McDonalds, in that they provide far cheaper premium coffee than say Starbucks and their breakfasts are quite good. I think it's safe to say the hamburgers are average at best. This cute sort of brand bashing went out with "Fight Club" in the 90s.

Dave Fenton   November 5th, 2009 1441 GMT

Yeah when I was stationed there the place was always busy, the Icelanders liked it as much as us bandarrikins (Icelandic for foregin military personnel).

And if I was stationed there today and Mcds closed I would shoot myself as the Icelandic fare for real (sheep's testicles, goat head, rotted shark etc.) just not for me. Yeah they had local beef but real grainy and expensive!!!!!!

Kay   November 5th, 2009 1454 GMT

Sigur Rós.

ShelleyB   November 5th, 2009 1520 GMT

So what, its only a cheap piece of processed meat....you guys need to get out more.

James   November 5th, 2009 1523 GMT

I wasnt sure what I was reading, absolutely hilarious when it hit me. great article hahaha

Gemna Stewart   November 5th, 2009 1524 GMT

I hope this article was not meant to be taken as is. I hope that this is full of sarcasm and satire, because anything to the contrary would be ridiculous! McDonald's franchises closing? Good Riddance indeed!

Pat   November 5th, 2009 1531 GMT

If I want to read satirical crap I will read the Onion, which I do from time to time, THIS SHOULD NOT BE ON CNN.COM

Jamaine   November 5th, 2009 1635 GMT

Great article! Loved the sarcasm.

Siji   November 5th, 2009 1705 GMT

Why do you think mcdonalds is the saving grace for iceland..You may cry but others may not cry..it is not acting ..it is truth witha straight face

Anne Marie   November 5th, 2009 1719 GMT

Ok, you do have a magic touch in the writing department, but you better go back to Economics class. Mc Donald's is an active player of the Capitalism game whereby they are a publically listed company which utilizes the Global Banking system as a means of trying to earn money. This is in fact many-fold as for example it is a publicly listed company, meaning it can issue securities in exchange for cash from securities buyers. These securities buyers consist of many different walks of life. Another example is that McDonalds depends on the acceptibilty of their products into general consumption. This depends not only on hunger and lifestyle of the consumer, but also the money that they bring home as expendable among other factors. To take a stab at global bankers, is indirectly stabbing McDonalds in back, after writing such a witty and entertaining peice. To be scared that McDonalds is closing in ICELAND, is, in a capitalist's opinion, not so poorly planned. Looks more like McDonalds did their homework on the Icelandic front!

forrealz   November 5th, 2009 1826 GMT

omg no more McDonald's how they ever live?

Jess Stuart   November 5th, 2009 1952 GMT

I'll be smiling over this article for days – for the delightful writing.

I don't think Iceland will return to the Dark Ages any faster than the rest of the western world. They do have Lindy Hop dancing events yearly (The Arctic Lindy Exchange).

Dwacon   November 5th, 2009 2051 GMT

With cheap caviar and other great food there... who needs McDonalds?

cyrus   November 5th, 2009 2129 GMT

are you nuts! They're probably getting their soul back!

Tom   November 5th, 2009 2259 GMT

We need to be rid of McDonalds, Starbucks, Wendys, Dunkin Donuts, Walmart, Sams Club, Ace Hardware, Home Depot, Office Max, Staples, AAmco, Hertz, Blockbuster, and all other large franchise chains. We need to go back to Mom & Pop stores. It is time to think simpler and cheaper. Bring buisness opportunity back to the people.

Jack   November 5th, 2009 2317 GMT

I thought this was CNN, not the Onion. Do you guys even report worthwhile news anymore?

Daniel S.   November 6th, 2009 008 GMT

Very monty pythonesque! Had a 'jolly good' laugh!

Rachel R   November 6th, 2009 125 GMT

They just closed a McDonalds in San Luis Obispo, California.
Is it time to panic?
Are they closing WalMarts?
Will the last one leaving turn out the light?

Peter   November 6th, 2009 144 GMT

I understood Starbucks had abandoned Australia. And We have them in NZ, which is more south anyway. get the little things right and the rest will follow....

tim   November 6th, 2009 442 GMT

I think I understand completely.
We DO have a hard time getting the locals here in Kansas to try Herring or Puffin (they think Puffins are a pet, or endangered since they have never seen one) . Wot I suspect is that they really harbor a deep deep fear that if they try it and like it that Icelandic ways will quickly take over Kansas with the obvious ambition of those volcanically hardened Norsemen. It's safer to eat the food we procure ourselves and keep our minds free of foreign domination calories and protein.
McDonalds isn't thriving here in Kansas since we have an abundnace of inexpemnsive beef envied for it's flavor the world over. Much too fresh for McDonalds to serve. Frozen ground beef is is for New York or Icelandic burgers.
Methinx the Icelanders know how good fresh herring is as well. Beef's the same, better when just killed. And free of that "out to rule the world" flavor as well. We just keep hoping as many Icelanders and Norwegians will continue to come here and spend tourist bucks in warm, flat, no earthquakes or volcanos Kansas, anyway. It's not about the way our kids will eat in the future...It's just a burger.

Accius   November 6th, 2009 1200 GMT

Hilarious article. Bravo.

Robert Robertsen   November 6th, 2009 1217 GMT

This article was a complete waste of web space. Why is this relevant information? Just to display Neil Curry's creative writing skills!

Not a single mention on what impact/non impact this has on Iceland's economy or if this is happening to other service industry companies that employ more people. Is there an exodus of Icelanders looking for jobs? Is there anything else Mr. Curry can set his writing skills on or is there really nothing else going on in Iceland?

kivaki   November 6th, 2009 1632 GMT

Good for Iceland!!

Hildur Sólveig (an icelandair)   November 6th, 2009 1839 GMT

i agree... great satire :D As an icelander i can say i'll miss the McFlurry's at each trip to Reykjavík (the country's capital) however hopefully somehow the grief will bring the population together so we can work through the great financial depression of the 21st century :D but, to be honest... it (the happy meal/mcFlurry) will only taste that much better in each holiday out of the country :D. Thanks for a great article

Durangatang   November 6th, 2009 1846 GMT

I'm lovin' it

michael   November 7th, 2009 020 GMT

Oh the death of an icon. Isn't is sad?, the place where big macs, fries, a shake and happy meals was had. Happy clowns now cry with all beef patties and golden arches lament. Now a fish n burger palace will replace its intent. On serving hundreds of thousands less now, you'd think it a blow for a happy cow, but eat they must and fishburgers it be, no more icon its tossed into the frozen sea. America cries for it has been throwed out. That drive up window of frustration and gas waste and doubt . I really could care less about Micky Ds, as long as I have my ribs, pizza and things. It never is what it used to be, a place for just food not corporate greed. I will go now and laugh at the death of an icon who thinks they are great but now others will toss out the American plate. (this is typed while I go through Arbys drive thru hehe)

Fidel S. See   November 7th, 2009 145 GMT

lcelanders are the happiest people on earth. A Happy Meal is just a meal...

Brian In Mesa   November 7th, 2009 203 GMT

Another blow to the Iclandic economy. Will this spread to the EU? We need a special stimulus plan put in place immediately. Save the world!!

Texpat   November 8th, 2009 1647 GMT

I love to hear people whine about McDonalds. It's as if some force beyond their jurisdiction determines what they shove down their pie-hole irrespective of their personal wishes. It's as if they're unable to make a personal choice as simple as - I'll eat it if I wish to. As possibly the most popular food in the world - McDonalds success speaks much louder than this whiney column.

Some people just really, really need Nanny.

Michael DePaula   November 9th, 2009 039 GMT

A glorious tribute to the passing of an inglorious food joint.

nathan leaman   November 9th, 2009 653 GMT

There is no starbucks in Tasmania anymore. There hasn't been for some time.

Bryan Llanos   November 9th, 2009 1211 GMT

I know its sad and I do sympathise but I have never been a patron of over priced fastfoods, not even in Iceland. Cook something at home, people, I do.

Michael Flynn   November 9th, 2009 1429 GMT

As an Australian living in Europe's other peripheral zone, Dublin, I am quivering in my boots at the possibility that Starbucks will leave Hobart (they have already closed three quarters of their stores in Australia as the people there have real coffee culture) and that the Golden Arch may pull out of dear old Erin! How will we survive such cultural devastation?

alex smith   November 9th, 2009 1719 GMT

Icelanders will therefore be healthier and happier at the welcome demise of McDonalds.
aléquis:>))

robert saint amour   November 9th, 2009 2120 GMT

a "sad volcanic rock" i think not, you should have spent more than a day

SE   November 10th, 2009 525 GMT

Very funny
I do envy the the people of Iceland though.

Jim Kitchens   November 10th, 2009 1452 GMT

Finally, a country with a sense of a proper diet...Having been in Iceland several times, I can understand why no one would eat at McDonald’s or any other such “Fast Food” place. The Icelandic food is so much better than anything one might buy at such a place.

Chris Olsen   November 11th, 2009 1702 GMT

This article put the smile in my lunch (a salad, by the way).

Reykajivakr   November 12th, 2009 1049 GMT

Now Icelandic nationalism will see boost.

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