Exactly. Who are we to judge?

Dear Atika,

Why did you do this story?

Do you have any idea how many other fit young men have been seriously injured playing rugby?

Do you have any idea what their reaction might be to your story?

How many paraplegic athletes have you interviewed?

Find some, interview them, then do your story again.

Stephen

Daniel James' story opens up, yet again, the torturous debate around euthanasia and the right of an individual to decide on their own death. It seems odd that there should be any restrictions whatsoever on an individual's autonomous right to finsh his/her own life as and when they choose to. As long as this decision is coming from a rational, self-aware state of mental health, and as long as it does not involve hurting any other person, this decision should be seen as the ultimate extension of a person's autonomy.

It is our decision about our life and how we wish to live it that makes us human. Why should our decision on how to end our life suddenly fall under legal restrictions?

It is heartbreaking to think about what the James family had to endure in order to fulfill Daniel's last wish. The pain of watching and even assisting in your own sons death is beyond words to describe.

Even so, I do not think anyone has the right to pass judgement on them. This, I believe, will have to be relegated to a higher power.

Whats the name of the hospital? I might just do it

Let me begin with by saying that majority of us are afraid of death or do not wish to die. It takes a total disintegration of an individual hope, life and dreams which pushes him to the point of despair where he ponders on the motives to live. I know there would be many religious people who would only read what like to read and think what they like to think in case os such incidents. But as Matt aptly puts it who are we to judge what he did to himself, because we are not in similar circumstances. Not all people are made the exact copy of each other we have our own constitution acordingly to which we live. Matt has simplistic view life, may be Daniel James has some other aspirations and dreams and he deemed they couldn't be fullfilled and were necessary for his existence. So using the parameter that since Matt has adapted to his circumstances and Daniel should have done so as well is wrong, self righteous and isinflicted with same prejuidice of the society which measures each incident and life with same barometre.
Think of your own child being in unbearable pain and begging you to help him, what do you do? See him suffer though you know what the end is going to be. Each case should be judged on this merit, and I am in no way condoning suicide but urging our society to weigh in the circumstances the human factor of each case differently. We follow the law equity and fairness, thus there is difference between self defence and murder.

Thank you for chasing this story and sharing it with us. I think in both situations - choosing death over life or embracing it amidst tragedy - the people involved have shown a great deal of courage. I can't imagine what it takes having to make such a decision.

Hats off to such couragious couple who are facing such difficult life yet sound so positive. Be strong and go on as what you share with each other is priceless.

Matt's spirit is brave indeed. It's entirely his decision to be effective even though confined to extremely limited acitivities of life. You are an inspitation to others!

It's a nice piece of writing that makes me feel more insightful towards life. The last sentence was really the taking out of this reporting. It's quite a thought-provoking stuff for me.

What a well written, frank but sensitive piece!

This morning a colleague from our mother company just committed suicide. Suicide is sad no matter what the reasons are. It is filled with hopelessness, defeat and an end of life. Nothing victorious about it. Sometimes you get to wonder how we "doing-well-individuals" can help these people fill the void that they are having. We are all part of this. At the end, we know that it is still a person's decision that would matter and we can only do as much. That's the saddest part of it. A heart filled with sorrow.

Good thing that Attika has shared two other uplifting stories. In a way, it gives hope to others. Stephen Hawkin is a living testament that we can still move on in life. And there are more.

I always want to believe that there is hope whatever situation we are in. That tomorrow is another day. If you believe in God, then we can hold on to that faith and endure it. One day it will be over and a new life will blossom.

No matter what may happen to you, it is not good to take your life.As a christian we believe that Jesus can heal us.And if you dont recieve healing it is not good to take your life.

I give a lot of credit to the reporters for making these interviews. I would say it was a fairly well written piece.

Regarding the subject matter, I think the idea of responsibility and individual liberties are at the core. What I mean is, everyone should be responsible for their lives and the decisions they make. Ideally, we should all be free to live or die how we believe/choose we should. Whether you are religious and leave it to fate, or you are terminally ill and want to die, I believe all of us have the right to follow our own paths.

The only additional commentary that would apply involves the effects of said suicide. Basically, things would have to be in order before you took that step, because it is still up to you to cover your obligations to your family and finances. I see the argument against suicide or especially assisted suicide as draconian.

As long as you are not harming others, you should be able to do what you please. (That is liberty and freedom.)

–Just an opinion!

in every situation we find our selfs, we should enable to thank God. imagin some one passing thruogh such hash conditions of living. we should all know that in no situation, no matter how hard or surfisticated the problem might be, not to commit sucide, because the holy books warns or the consequences of such. lets all be careful of our comments about such sensitive issues and not lead others into sucidal acts.

These people have taught us an irony – that a physical handicap can be the cure for a psychological one. They have concurred fear of death. A fear that can prevent a life lived in the spirit of joy and happiness.

While physical health is important, spiritual health is more so. Aftreall, spirit is our only permentant aspect, worth giving our undivided attention. Something a physical handicap can point us toward.

Great story! But do we have to talk abut death to appreciate life? I like Matts's spirit. That is how it should be. Just go about life about life no matter what. assisted suicide is unethical.

Though the decision to live or die largely rest in the hands of the individual,it most be made clear that what befalls anybody whether good or bad most be attributed to destiny which comes from nature. while we muslims refer to this nature as an act of Allah others might tend to disagree but whether others agree or not, we certainly came from somewhere and we most go back somewhere and someday too, what is most nauseating about the story is for any body to
try to play God, by assisting suicide.at any rate the act of taking ones life by self should be declared illegal and a more severe penality should be placed on those that give such assistance.while God did not negociate with one before creation, so also he doesnt need any assistance in taking anybodys life.

I want to commend the parents of Daniel james for their selfless act of love towards their son. You gave up alot ,but you gave also eternal happiness to a suffering young man. Your son now resides in the kingdom of heaven and is forever gratefull to his loving parents. I lost my only daughter seven years ago. Now she and your son are truely free.God bless good parents like you. Ceci

I am facing the return of an incurable cancer and death with dignity is important to me. I already have the living will and the understanding that when my brain isn't working on it's own unplug me Now I am wondering if, at some point, I may want to consider assisted suicide.
How much pain and loss of body parts should one endure before they get out of here with some remaining dignity.

The pain of losing someone is unbearable enough without watching and even assisting in your own sons death. However, until we walk a day in their shoes, I do not think that we should judge for helping their son end his life, that was his wish and they as any other parent, want to fullfil their childs wish. I firmly believe that if they thought that there was any hope of recovering more than what he did, they would not had assisted. Even though, who is to say that he would not had done something even more tramatic.

I support death with dignity because several people that I have loved have suffered because others "can't let go". My grandmother had cancer of the kidneys, liver and lungs and in her final weeks begged to be put out of her misery. My grandfather and uncle wouldn't allow it and she died a very slow, painful death. People need to put aside their selfish behaviours and let people die peacefully. Washington State has an initiative on their ballots that hope passes. If you live in Washington State please consider voting yes on I-1000. Its your life and your decision. It shouldn't be anyone else.

KMC

P.S. I am also a disabled person (incomplete quad) who has made the decision, in a living will to end my life if my disability becomes too much for me to bear, I too, also have the blessing of my family.

My god, rugby sounds rougher than football!

Very thoughtful and well done thank you for respecting the James Family by leaving them alone. After reading this I found myself quite silent and strangly calm. I wonder if anyone else had that experience. Lost in thought so to say. Again thank you.

Good piece about a sensitive subject.

i to belive that terminaly ill people should have that right to make that decision for them selves.i watch my mother sufer to and it was horrible.

To the commentator who wrote; "Whats the name of the hospital? I might just do it"

If the world means not much to you, you mean the world to someone else..Life is more then who you are..

Death is a fact of life and One shouild ideally be always prepared for this eventuality. However the important point is what do we do with our life between the time we start making decisions and the point before death when we stop making any decisions. There are essentially two concepts of living a life: for most people the life ends with death; while for the rest the first phase of the life ends with the physical death and a second phase commences after death. The later concept of the life means the second phase is dependent on our conduct in this life and is absed on self accountability. The thoughts and deeds which promote the true self are considered righteous while those which do not promote the self development are considered wrong. This defines the law: the law of requital – which means we are responsible for our actions and every thought and deed is accountable as our self develops accordingly. So the reward of our deeds is in built and it is inbuilt through our thoughts which precede our deeds. The second value is: our physcila self develops through a healthy life style while our moral or true self develops by helping others. In the light of this brief discussion even if our physical self cannot make decision but our thoughts can act for the good of others through others around us we can immensley benefit for the second phase of our life. The question here is how many of us see this purpose of life?

For everyone that is thinking of suicide, I pray that they may find comfort in the knowledge that they did not create themselves and that the creator determines what happens to his creature. So, why hurry to death when u have d rest of eternity. There is always hope when there is life.

It should be any free individuals right to govern their own life, and that includes ending it in a manner of their choice.

Some people just cant bear living as handicapped, having to depend on others at all times and not being able to do the most basic things. Call it a weakness if you want but for some people a life as theirs would be a torment. I was in a wheelchair myself for 2 months, unable to walk or move around. It was terrible, not even being able to go to the toilet without help. I was completely depressed and hated every minute of it. And I knew it was only temporary... I dont think I could cope with being permanently in that situation.

So long as its a well thought through and carefully made decision I dont see any reason why the government should interfere.

No matter how bad the situation may be, committing suicide of aiding one to commit suicide is not advisable. It is punishable by God.

Many thousands of people are destroyed emotionally, spiritually or physically and not one of them understand the why? Not one of them want to look at the fact that maybe fate declared for this to happen for a particular reason (yeah, I know you atheist are going to jump on me). This is a society that preaches instant gratification, the non-tolerance of pain and suffering and plain old consumerism. The real reason for this is;

You cost too much for the "healthy" to subsidize your existance. That is why society preaches that euthanasia, or assisted suicide or whatever is a better choice than suffering. However, My heart goes out to the one that struggles, the one that genuinely suffers with these issues on top of their physical suffering. I have an appointment Monday to find out if I have cancer; I know I will go through the same issues. I know I will not request assisted suicide. I will be tempted...

When I was 2 months old I got dyptheria, a month later I got polio. After being in the hospital for 5 years, many surgeries and the iron lung, I was one of the fortunate ones who got to home and get to know my family. I was only 6 years old. Into adult life I continued to have surgeries, and so forth. The best was yet to come in 1992 when I was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease. I was in extreme pain, it took the doctors a while to diagnose my condition, meanwhile the pain was excruciating! The mere movement of people entering my hospital room made my body ache. Every half hour the doctors would have the techs excrete fluid/puss like mucous from my leg. This went on off and on for 6 months! During that time, I thought of assisted suicide for the first time. I felt that if I was going to have this pain for the rest of my life, I would pick dying instead. I didn't want to die, of course not, my children were so young! On the other hand, I was no good for anybody in the condition I was in. My doctors assured me that they were trying the best they could to keep me comfortable, but even the morphine stopped working. It was horrible! After three bouts with this disease, I finally had to have my leg amputated. I'm alive and kicking, loving life and enjoying my grandchildren, however I can identify with those people that encounter pain without any hope for relief. Adults should be able to make their own choice about these matters. Neither your family or the government should have a say in matters such as this.

Since this desease , I frequently contract different types of staph infections, and I've given up more parts of my anatomy in order to live. As long as taking parts from my body relieves my pain, I will continue doing it, but if the day ever comes when there is nothing that will help me, I will fight tooth and nail to be allowed death!

Mary Chikezie, that's your opinion. I don't believe in your God, and in the state of Oregon the death with dignity act gives people in that state a choice if they wish to commit suicide. As more people age, more people will start to ask about this and it will take more than a religion to stop them from wondering.

To read this article was difficult. Never could I judge anyone on how or when to end their life. I use to think that suicide was a selfish act on the person doing the deed, but I now understand. When one has an incurable and very painful health issue, they are asking to let them be free of all pain & suffering. Not only does the patient lose all diginity if they are being cared for around the clock, but there is also a very heavy financial burden that that is usually passed on to a relative. It would be horrifying if I knew that I left my family an overwhelming bill that would be impossible for them to pay. I am so terrified to die and, even now, I am finding it to be a very difficult subject to discuss. Faith tells us that there is life after death, but since I do not know of anyone who actually saw the other side and came back, I will continue to ponder this question. This is way to private for any one of us to try to tell someone else what is right or wrong with ending our lives. And, I want to personally reach out to Michael to say I will be sending you a prayer from Florida that all goes very well for you with your medical appt.

i personally think this subject is one that is attached to different moral ehtics and philosophies. i personally am for the view of no to suicise because you didnt create life so you are not in the position to terminate it. But with the instances of the peop;e above, we know that everyone is put in ths worl dor a perpose and your not going to spend a day on yourdestined time but with your family and friends you are sure to get through such a dark period. but hang in thier and toghter lets say no suicide.
from nigeria

I think that we all need to reflect on our lives each and every day. I also believe that we need to look our Spouses, children and family in their eyes and tell them how much they mean to us every day. Life is too short, yet unbearably long for others that have to suffer. To each their own, until we walk a day in their shoes, they have nothing to be ashamed about. May God heal their broken hearts and memories surround them to help them heal.

As a Registered Nurse, I have had the honor of caring for many people in different cultures and places during my 27-year career. In the beginning, I had to define death on several different levels before I could comfortably carry on - spiritually, mentally, religiously and scientifically. All of these definitions became complicated as I sought counsel from a variety of sources (e.g.MDs, RNs, Teachers, Church leaders, PhDs, patients young and old) Thankfully, I clearly came to understand what so many of you have claimed. As we will all surely die, respectfully, we cannot judge another's death. A "good death" for one, may be a "bad death" for another, but most important is to honor that person's life.

How can anyone judge the mental or physical hell of another? Why should someone endure the torture of living just so others can keep their values intact? Do people realize the enormous suffering a person must be going through to prefer death over life? I believe any adult, any time, anywhere, for any reason, has the right to commit suicide. And anyone who loves and respects them enough to honor their request for help in ending their misery should be applauded. Surely no God would give double punishment to such sufferers.

I think the laws regarding assisted suicide in the UK are cruel. I try to put myself in those people's shoes: Imagine making a decision to end your life because of a debiltating, deteriorating, insufferable condition. That is one thing I can imagine coming to terms with. But then imagine, having made such a decision, to have to take the long road to that destination without your loved one by your side. Imagine the hours from the time you say "goodbye" to your child/ your parents/ your partner until the minute you will face your death. Who can face this on their own? And what child/parent/partner can leave their loved one to make this journey alone, counting the hours and the minutes until that person's last breath? If I had to die, I would want to die with my family next to me. And if a loved one of mine had to die, I would want to be with them and support them and hold their hand in their last hours.

PS: I understand that for some Christians and Muslims and other people of other religions suicide may be immoral, but you have to keep in mind that not everyone shares your religious views. The consitution guarantees my freedom NOT to believe, and so the laws should not discriminate against me based on the morality of a religion that I have every right NOT to follow. Religious arguments are very important in making individual choises but have no place in state laws.

yeah, state laws made by humans, where there is always an error. you choose not to believe because you dont want to know the truth.

i'm really sad with the article, it places you into the grey area of euthanasia..

passive-euthanasia is quite a common practice in my country, where doctors often just sent home terminally ill patients rather than trying every which way they can to prolong the inevitable death..

i myself support a dignified active-euthanasia for those that has acquired an irreversible deteriorating condition, as the condition often leads to trauma to our loved ones and not to say the financial burden..

will do the same when the condition applies..

Sameer, you say "It takes a total disintegration of an individual hope, life and dreams which pushes him to the point of despair where he ponders on the motives to live." True for you, perhaps but not so for everyone. I have my family whom I love dearly, my work, my health – but to me, it is a sentence in Hell to live in a nortal body. To be a disembodied spiritual being IS the natural state of existence. To be imprisoned in a mortal body is a necessary learning experience because we are all flawed and earth-living is a "lab" if you will, to learn the lessons that we must to grow as spiritual beings. To tamper with that process by prematurely ending one's life is tantamount to "dropping out" of school. Not a good idea -- but neither life nor death is all that there is. And very little that we do or don't do here has as much impact to the total experience as we might like to think. Judge not – as you can speak only from your own viewpoint.

On life:
If you deny a person his right to die, then you also take away his right to live, because, in the absence of the right to die, life becomes an obligation, not a right, since the phrase "right to live" implies a choice in the matter.

On death:
when we stop speaking of death as something negative, bad and potentially avoidable, rather than what it is – a part of life – maybe then we can let go of some of our fears and start enjoying life. After all, do you know of any one human being who has not died or will not die one day?

On suicide:
"Committing suicide is not against British law." Is there a place where committing suicide is against the law? And if so, and a person commits suicide, what is the punishment for such a crime? Death? Jail?

On assisted suicide:
When an animal is suffering terribly, we say we put him out of his misery because "it's the humane thing to do", but when a human being is begging to be put out of his misery because of his (often incurable) misery, we say it's a crime to help him out of his misery...

Go figure.

Assisted suicides should be like abortions – if you don't believe in them, don't have one.

This is too personal a decision for the government to prohibit unilaterally. I didn't read any posts on this blog from anyone that is currently sufferring great pain from an incurrable disease or a life-long debilitating condition, that is also arguing against assisted suicide. Put another way, it seems to mainly be healthy, religious types that are crusading against this. Easy to be against something you don't think you'll ever need (kind of like men deciding whether women can have abortions, or health insurance for pregnancies, IMO).

Who are any of you to have the arrogance & gall to think you should be able to tell me how much sufferring I must endure before death? When those of you who posted here are in similar dire straits, let us know if you still feel the same about assisted suicide.

I think there is some importance in quality of life and if I no longer see myself being able to survive and am in constant pain, it is my right to make that decision. For someone who has been a diabetic for 40 years and taking injections constantly, if we look at the facts, some day I will not be able to continue. Just keep your religion our of the laws and let me go when I feel the time is right. I don't think that is much to ask.

I find it very sad and upsetting that people find it necessary to end their own lives, even those who are facing a terminal illness or are in life situations (paralysis) that are tough and not what we would have chosen for ourselves.

The comment made by the professor about there not being an afterlife is so false. For those who following God's teachings and recognize him as the one and only God, keeping his laws and commandments, they will face a wonderful afterlife. For those who do not, like the professor, they will face an afterlife of Hell.

I can empathize with someone who has a terminal illness and understand how they might want to die a more quick and painless death. I hope to never be faced with such a horrible life, however I believe that through my faith, I will would want the day of my death (which I believe is decided on the day of my birth) to be controlled by God.

Why die at all? Isn't this an interesting line of thought. The mechanisms of death are well understood and can be addressed as we would address any disease. Yet we focus hardly any resources on this very accomplishable goal.

I suspect that even if we cured death, some would still opt to die due to their religious or otherwise personal convictions or situations. Who's in a position to judge for others what one person is suffering through? What would the world accomplish if death were an option, not a mandate?

Every individual person has their own personal limit to how much they can take....work, kids, marriage, pain, life. What one person could live with for an eternity another may rather die than face one more day. None of us can tell another what their limit should be based on what our own experience is. When it comes to death there is no need to be afraid. Though the unknown of the process is a little unnerving for me personally, but what's on the other side if you know where you're going? Pure delight!

What is wrong with the world that people want to watch someone else's private moment? Watching your own loved ones die is hard enough. Seeing someone else die on television for whatever reason sets a new low for the term "peeping tom". Don't they have their own loved ones to visit and care about?

Oh my! I guess it's ok to watch continuous killing on the news and in films, and openly on television?

I watched this presentation that BBC is about to air, of the gentleman whose wife, with the help of a Swiss doctor, openly and gently end his life. My father was very ill with PSP, the same deadly nerve disease that killed Dudley Moore, famous actor and musician. It was horrible, and along with that he had alzheimers.

I would, and I am sure my family agrees, prepare myself to accept this type of humanistic death as shown on Canadian television several weeks ago. I cried as I watched the bravery of the situation, but also saw the relief of his wife as she had unselfishly cared for him until he could no longer feed himself. He was giving her life back to her, as she could continue to live and enjoy the children and grandchildren.

Please view this presentation with open eyes, and then compare it to the murders and death we watch on a daily basis on world wide television. I sincerely hope I will be able to release my last breath as comfortably as this gentle man did.

USA and Poland resident